Earlier this week, rumors began swirling on the Internet that a couple of redneck Georgia hunters (Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer) had stumbled across a dead Bigfoot.
As a kid I was fascinated by UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, the Bermuda Triangle, and of course, Bigfoot. One of the most common questions people ask about Bigfoot is, why hasn’t anyone ever found a dead one before? Bigfoot researchers have offered up a few non-convincing suggestions: maybe they get eaten, maybe they are buried, maybe they wander off somewhere, or maybe they are beamed up into outer space.
Regardless of what theory you buy into, if you were to believe Whitton and Dyer, one Bigfoot was left behind.
By the way, I wouldn’t believe them, if I were you.
Whitton and Dyer have pretty much acted exactly as I would assume two idiots trying to fool a few people would act. For starters, they contacted Tom Biscardi. A cursory Google search turns up the term “a Las Vegas promoter” and several previous incidents involving Tom Biscardi — like the time in 2005 when he announced that he had found a dead Bigfoot and charged people money to view it on his website. (Isn’t it amazing that the overwhelming of majority of people never see a Bigfoot their entire life, yet this guy’s found two of them?) No video ever materialized and there are a lot of mad people out there who were either scammed or filed for a refund through their credit card companies.
And then there was the time in 2006 that Tom Biscardi released this compelling photograph.
This is actually one of the better Bigfoot photos associated with the guy’s name. Most of them are so laughably bad that all you can do is shake your head. Even people who really believe in Bigfoot think Tom Biscardi is a joke.
So anyway, in an attempt to plead their case to the world, the three stooges (Whitton, Dyer and Biscardi) held a press conference today. Whitton and Dyer told their story to a larger-than-it-should-have-been crowd of reporters. According to them, they stumbled across the five-hundred-pound dead Bigfoot deep in the Georgia woods and carried it off to their truck. What fun that must’ve been, carrying or dragging a dead carcass that weighed more than the two of them together through the woods.
The problem with their press conference was that they’ve released conflicting reports to the media several times already. According to an Associated Press story, the pair “first reported that the animal was shot by a former felon, and the men followed it into the woods.” They then reported that “they found a ‘family of Bigfoot’ in North Georgia mountains.” They changed their story once again to state that “the two were hiking and stumbled upon the corpse with open wounds.” I don’t know about you, but I’m guessing if I ever saw a Bigfoot in real life I would try real hard to get at least a few of the details right.
At today’s Hollywood press conference the trio promised to deliver Bigfoot’s body; instead, they delivered a picture of it … in a freezer.
One of the things that have come out is that Whitton and Dyer have been trying to sell Bigfoot hunting expeditions for $500. These two idiots have also been recording and uploading videos just about as fast as they can to YouTube. If you want a good laugh, check out this one. My favorite part is when they fly in “Dr. Van Buren” (who has already been revealed to be Whitton ‘s brothers) and they do an interview. Dr. Van Buren is reminiscent of Bill and Ted.
Throughout the video the interviewer plugs his website “BigfootTracker.com” multiple times — which once can only assume is what all the hubbub is about in the first place.
If you’re going to make a fake Bigfoot video, the least you could do is make it interesting.
This thread contains the entire background story on Whitton, Dyer and Biscardi. It’ll give you all the background on these doofs.
Go Georgia! :P