Seven Songs

Every now and then little snippets of songs pop into my head — songs, for the most part, I remember singing in elementary school. Over the past few months several of these have popped back up for one reason or another. Hopefully by sharing them with you I will be able to get them out of my head, and into yours. Here are the seven songs, and what happened to them.

Pablo the Reindeer from Mexico

Santa’s sleigh is starting to get a little crowded. At first there were only eight reindeer. Rudolph made nine and Olive (See: Olive the Other Reindeer) was the tenth. The eleventh reindeer, Pablo, accompanied Santa on his trips to Mexico and let him know if it was snowing there.

Pablo the reindeer from Mexico,
He makes the children laugh ho-ho,
All the muchachos love him so,
Pablo the reindeer from Mexico.

Without him-la la la la
Santa would not know where he’s going
Without him-la la la la
Santa would not know if it’s snow-ing
South of the border!

You don’t hear much about Pablo these days. Santa now uses a GPS to know where is is going, and The Weather Channel tells him if it will be snow-ing. Plus I’m pretty sure singing Christmas songs in a fake Mexican accent was removed from the “politically correct” list a few years back.

Germs my Invisible Dog

I vividly remember singing this song at Myers Elementary back in the day.

My very best friend is my little shaggy dog
Chewing on my tennis shoes and running through the hall
He’s kind of like my shadow, cause he’s everywhere I go
He sleeps in my bed, but my mommy doesn’t know

I hide him in my pocket cause he’s very, very small
Germs, Germs, my invisible dog

For some reason I always imagined Germs looking a lot like Barkley from Sesame Street, but smaller. And invisbler. So what happened to Germs? I think it was this verse that did him in:

I take him to church but nobody ever sees
The little shaggy spotted dog sitting on my knee
He’s learning bible verses and he loves the happy songs
But he often falls asleep when the sermon is too long

Oh boy. Poor ol’ Germs, done in by the separation of church and state. Not that I’m sure the church people liked kids singing about a dog sleeping through the sermons in the first place. And what an unfortunate name for a dog. You should meet my pet cat, Rabies.

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus

Speaking of the separation of church and state, back before second graders had rights and parents complained about everything, we used to sing this little ditty to the Bo Diddly beat each year around Christmas time. In fact, I have specific memories of performing this in the school’s Christmas play.

Well everybody has a birthday,
And a cake and a party too,
And all your friends come over,
And sing “Happy Birthday” to you.

Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus,
Even when your birthday’s through,
All year long we’ll remember,
Each precious gift we get from You.

At my kid’s school they’re not even allowed to put up a Christmas tree anymore — it’s a “holiday” tree — so you can bet singing little songs about Jesus’ birthday are right out. The biggest problem with this song (besides the fact that kids aren’t allowed to mention Jesus and I’m not even sure if they’re allowed to celebrate birthdays anymore) is that it’s filled with inaccuracies. For example:

When Jesus has a birthday,
The whole wide world was there,
And he gives out the presents
For all the people to share.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a nativity scene, but the whole world was not there. Present were the parent(s), three wise men, and a bunch of four-legged leftovers from Noah’s Ark. And second of all, everybody knows Santa (and not Jesus) gives out presents for people to share. I don’t know about you but Jesus never left me a bicycle under my tree. Or maybe he did bring stuff to you and just skipped my house. That would explain a lot.

You know what else is funny about this song? Can you imagine going to Jesus’ birthday party? What would you get him? “Oh wow, a skateboard. I’ll try sure to try that out on my STREETS OF GOLD.” It would be kind of fun to shop for him though. I’ll bet he doesn’t have a Snuggie.

By the way, this site has the complete lyrics to “Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus” along with the mp3. Do check it out. The song is very catchy and I have added it back into our regular Christmas rotation.

Shaving Cream

I have a sad story to tell you,
It may hurt your feelings a bit,
Last night when I walked into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of SH …

… AVING cream,
be nice and clean,
Shave everyday and you’ll always look keen.

Um, yeah. I think we actually only sang that about twice before a parent complained.

There was an Old Woman of Skin and Bones

There was an old woman all skin and bones. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She lived down by the old graveyard. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
One night she thought she’d take a walk. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She walked down by the old graveyard. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She saw some bones all lying round. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She went to the closet to get a broom. Ooo-oo-oo-oo!
She opened the door and BOO!

Okay so first of all, this isn’t even that good of a song really, from a song-writing point of view. None of the lines rhyme (which is kind of expected in a kid’s song), unless you’re saying that “Ooo-oo-oo-oo” rhymes with “Ooo-oo-oo-oo.” Then you have two lines that both end with graveyard — apparently she both lives by one and walks by one. Kind of redundant really, unless perhaps she normally flies her broom home — a fact that doesn’t make sense since, two lines layer, she had to go to the closet to get one. Are witches really known for their tidiness? I realized they made potions and cast spells but I didn’t realize in all their free time they were the ones who kept graveyards clean, too. And such dedication too, since she was out for a walk at the graveyard, saw the bones, and then went BACK to her closet to get the broom. This ain’t no witch; she’s a saint!

And then there’s the ending, which says to me, “I have no idea how to end this song.” Maybe that means it should not have been started in the first place.

I Can Sing a Rainbow

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue,
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow too!

Listen to your heart,
Listen to your heart,
And sing everything you feel,
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow too

This one might not be so bad if I had been singing it when I were six; unfortunately, we were made to sing this in seventh grade. You remember seventh grade, don’t you? Everything was awkward, everything was changing, and half of the kids came back after summer vacation with hairy armpits. Yeah. Nothing awkward about getting a bunch of seventh-grade boys together and asking them to sing about rainbows in falsetto. No, nothing at all …

The one thing that always bugged me about this song was that those aren’t the colors of a rainbow. Apparently whoever wrote it never heard of ROY G. BIV: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. THOSE are the colors of a rainbow, foo. When in doubt, trust a science teacher over a drama major.

Down By The Bay

Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say
“Did you ever see a fly
Wearing a tie?”
Down by the bay.

This was one of my favorites back in first or second grade. When you sing the song you sing the main part over and over and just replace the last two lines: “Did you ever see a (noun), (verb)ing a (noun), down by the bay …”

Our music teacher even let us come up with our own rhymes and let us draw signs explaining them. I remember mine to this day: “Did you ever see Pac-Man, chasing Batman? Down by the bay …” I even had a little drawing with, well, Pac-Man chasing Batman.

So, what happened to this classic? Sadly, I think this line was the beginning of the end: “Did you ever see a trucker …”