Branson Review

In 1982, my family attended the World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. I was eight-years-old at the time and some of my strongest memories of that trip aren’t of the fair itself, but rather our stay in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. My dad once described Pigeon Forge as “a sideshow without a circus”, a fairly accurate depiction (they prefer the terms “tourist resort” and “family vacation hub”). Prior to 1982 the town’s biggest draws were Rebel Railroad and Silver Dollar City (later sold and redubbed “Dollywood”). After the location of the World’s Fair was announced, the town “initiated an aggressive economic plan that centered around theme parks, outlet malls, and live music venues. The first outlet mall, Factory Merchants, opened that same year.” (Link). We spent a full day at Magic World Theme Park and I will never forget the Magic Carpet ride or the dinosaur adventure.

This past weekend for the 4th of July, Susan and I wanted to do something different for the kids so we set our sights on Branson, Missouri, a place I had personally never been (which apparently is like living in Nevada and never visiting Las Vegas). Before we left Susan was talking about camping out in the 100 degree heat and (mercifully) those plans migrated into renting a two-story log cabin with A/C, three flat screen televisions, and wireless internet — now that’s my kind of camping!

Like Pigeon Forge, Branson, MO is another “side show without a circus”, unless maybe the circus is Silver Dollar City. It’s a lot like Vegas in a way; just replace all the casinos with go-kart rides and putt-putt courses, and all the shows with stuff like Shoji the Fiddler and Yakov Smirnoff, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what Branson is like.

The four of us had a great time. One of our first stops was at Moonshine Beach, a beach at Table Rock Lake, only about five minutes from our cabin. The entrance fee is a buck a person and the facilities include showers, rest rooms and changing stalls. Definitely worth the price of admission. We swam for almost two hours before rain clouds rolled in and it began to drizzle. Unlike our friends and family back home in Oklahoma, we only got about fifteen minutes of light rain.

After the beach we headed over to the local fish hatchery, where the kids got to feed ravenous fish. I’m serious, I’ve never seen anything like it — it was like a scene from a killer piranha movie! Just a handful of fish food would cause those things to tumble over one another and jump out of the water!

Next up was lunch at the Uptown Cafe, a 50’s-style diner with entertainment by a karaoke-singing cowboy, and then finally back to the cabin for some rest and relaxation.


(Yeah, we know how to rough it.)

After a quick nap, we headed back out and took the kids to the Ripley’s Believe or Not Museum. I don’t think Susan was sold on the idea but I was adamant that we go and all three kids loved it (Mason, Morgan, and Me). Tomorrow I’m going to write up a more detailed review of Ripley’s.

That night we went back out to Table Rock Lake and watched one of the local fireworks shows. Despite the mountainous terrain, we could see fireworks going off in three different directions. The kids enjoyed the fireworks, Susan enjoyed being outside and I got eaten up by mosquitoes so there you go. Like every year, the kids enjoyed it and I endured it.

We spent the rest of our time driving around taking pictures of various buildings, restaurants and museums. Believe it or not I liked Branson much more than I thought I would and, only being a five(ish)-hour drive from the house, I can see another visit there in the not so distant future — if, for no other reason, to see the Hollywood Wax Museum (entrance pictured below).

If you read all of that and would like to see more pictures from our vacation, here they are.

7 comments to Branson Review

  • Joshua Risner

    Missed you by a week. We’re in Branson now. We always stay at the Chateau on the Lake. I despise staying anywhere on the strip. Traffic sucks and as many times as I have been here in my youth it’s nice to get away from the crowds. I can’t believe you’re from Oklahoma and were never dragged here like me.

  • Dean

    I ended up there too. I did buy a ms pacman. so the trip wasnt so bad.
    im surprised you didnt go shopping at the outlet malls.. now theres some bargains NOT! mark up 70% less %25 percent then buy 2 get one free, plus coupons and hey presto theres nothing you cant buy cheaper at Penn Square…

  • Zeno

    My wife has told me about her family vacationing in Branson in the early 1970’s when apparently there was nothing but the occasional open field where a hippie could park a VW van and spend the next couple of days swatting away all mosquitoes. Clearly somebody saw some potential to the place.

  • Rob

    Branson is the epitome of, “if you build it, they will come.”

  • Brett Weiss

    Do you remember the Pick Axe Pete tournament they had at the fair in ’82?

  • Rob

    I read about it in Bill Kunkel’s book, but don’t personally remember it. All I really remember about the fair was the giant Rubik’s Cube (which is apparently still there), seeing the Clydesdale horses, and walking around in the rain. My dad recently handed down to me a six-pack of World’s Fair beer …

  • Mom

    I still have the photo album of pictures from that trip, if you’d like to look at them and refresh some memories. Big old Dodge van, carpet, back seat bed and all, bought just for the summer and that trip. Getting a window shot out while driving through Memphis. Hotel not as advertised (pool not finished, high prices!) The moonshiner demonstrating at the Fair. All in all, a trip I wouldn’t have missed for the world!

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