Andy and the Monster Truck

Earlier today for Facebook’s “Throwback Thursday” I posted the following picture with a bit of a tease as to the story behind the photo. I might as well tell the story.

My buddy Andy (seen in the picture above) is pretty much the pillar of honesty — always has been, always will be. Most of his stories that involve debauchery also involve me because, let’s face it, Andy was the nice guy and I was the little devil sitting on his shoulder saying things like, “Hey Andy, wouldn’t it be awesome if we stole that fire extinguisher and set it off in my room?”

(And yeah, I really said that. And we really did that. And it was not at all as funny as one might think from seeing fire extinguishers go off on television. But I digress…)

This story dates back to 1990, when I was working for Mazzio’s Pizza. We had a manager — John or Jack, maybe — who used to come to work every day carrying a briefcase. Even as teenagers we thought that was kind of weird. One day he quit or got fired or something and he never came back to the store to get his briefcase. After a week, curiosity got the better of me I took it home and pried it open. Inside was an ink pen and a Playboy magazine.

A few months later, Darryl Starbird’s Custom Car Show came to downtown Oklahoma City. My dad has always said the key to being somewhere you don’t belong is to act like you belong. Andy and I decided to put this to the test and devised a plan to sneak into the car show, and the whole plan revolved around that briefcase.

The evening before the show was set to open, Andy and I showed up. Andy was wearing the outfit you see above while I was wearing a shirt with a (clip-on) tie and my hair slicked back. I was also carrying the briefcase.

Instead of going to the front door, the two of us walked around to the side and tried walking right through the door. When a guard looked at me, I said, “Oh, this is the door Bill said to come through,” (or something like that). When the guard asked me who I was I introduced Andy and myself and told the guard we were there to purchase Bill’s car. I then nodded my head toward the briefcase. (In my stupid 17-year-old head, someone buying a car at a car show would do so by bringing a briefcase full of cash with him.)

The guard looked at the two of us, yawned, and waved us through. As we rounded the corner into the show we entered the first bathroom we found. I took off the shirt and tie (I had a t-shirt on underneath), stuffed them into the briefcase, and left it there in the bathroom. Today that would probably cause a security incident but back then I’m guessing it just ended up in the trash. The two of us spent the rest of the evening with the place to ourselves, walking around and taking pictures. That’s how we were able to get a picture of Andy standing on the wheel of a monster truck-sized Mustang with nobody else around.