8 Types of People who Ride the DC Metro

My hotel this week in DC is so far away from work that I’ve been riding the Metro roughly 30 minutes each way. During that time each morning I’ve noticed that most Metro riders fall into one of the eight following categories.

01. SLEEPERS. These people get on and nod off. I’m not sure how they do it, but they do. I spend most of my time on the Metro worrying about (a) getting off at the right stop and (b) worrying about people stabbing me, and sleeping would seem to raise the odds of both. But lots of people do it (sleep, not stab me) every day. I’m really not sure how they manage to get off at the correct stop. I suppose I’m only assuming that they do.

02. HEADPHONES. Slightly better than the sleepers, the headphones-people are only depriving themselves of one sense. That being said, I depend on that sense on the Metro to let me know what stop we’re at and which one is coming up next.

03. PHONES. Lots of people spend their time with their noses buried in their phones — not talking on them but playing games on them. You can toss tablet owners in this category, too. I haven’t seen a lot of people actually talking on the phone and I’m not sure if you can even get a cell signal down there. I can’t, but I’m AT&T; I can’t get cell signal in my garage…

04. READERS. While the younger crowd seems to prefer electronics, the older riders like their paper. Newspapers, paperback books, and magazines.

05. STARERS. With nothing to read or listen to, these people just stare off into space. I can never tell what they’re looking at. They’re looking at … something. Or maybe nothing. I have no idea. They seem catatonic. They’re like Metro mannequins.

06. LOOKERS. Lookers are the opposite of starers. Lookers look at everything and everybody. Their heads and eyes are constantly moving around. Whenever two lookers lock eyes, things get awkward. (Spoiler: I’m a looker.)

07. TOURISTS. Tourists are easy to spot as they’re the only people having any fun. They laugh and talk loudly and almost fall over every time the Metro speeds up, slows down, or makes a turn. They also check the Matro map hanging on the wall. A lot. Like, sometimes after every stop.

08. CRAZIES. While I didn’t spot too many this time, occasionally I’ll spot someone talking to their shoe or licking one of the poles. I take back what I said about the tourists. These people seem to be having fun, too.

2 comments to 8 Types of People who Ride the DC Metro

  • ladyjaye

    My daily commute is about 30 minutes each way too, spent mostly in the Montreal Metro. I fall into your #2 category and #3 (if you would mean to include gaming of all handheld kinds, not just phones) — I usually play my Vita or 3DS with the headphones connected to the console or to my iPod to a podcast. I should read more often, but I don’t usually do so during my commute, but rather during my lunch break. And when a given commute is part of your routine, you end up memorizing by instinct the time needed to get from home to work or vice versa. It’s of course different when you take a route that’s different than your usual commute (especially in a city bus, where it’s easy to miss a stop).

  • Pat Loisel

    I’m a looker, who when caught pretends to be a starer!

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