"A boy's best friend is his mother." -Norman Bates

Respect my Authori-tay!

Two weeks ago, I began Private Investigator Training class at Canadian County Technology Center (formerly Canadian County Vo-Tech). I signed up because the class sounded interesting — nothing more. The class is two evenings a week for the next several months. I had trouble decidiing between the PI class and the Cake Decorating class, however in the end, my desire to eat a cake once a week lost to my desire to taser someone.

Private Investigator Training is actually a “Phase 3” class. What I discovered (after class began) was that this class is part of the CLEET certification series of classes. CLEET is the Oklahoma body that governs the licensing of not only Private Investigators but also security guards. Before Phase 3 begins, students must sit through Phases 1 and 2, Security Guard Training. Phase 4, which I have not yet enrolled in, is Armed Security Guard Training.

Our class consists of eleven students. The majority of the class unsurprisingly consists of people interested in becoming security guards. Some of the people are already working as security guards and are seeking security certification. And then there’s me, the computer guy who sits quietly in the corner. During our breaks, fellow classmates and the instructor swap stories about guns and shooting people. I don’t have any gun stories, so I politely listen to theirs. No one wants to swap computer stories.

If the speed of an average day at work is 55mph, and the speed of the VMWare computer class I just took was about 75mph, then the speed of Security Guard Training hovers somewhere around 4mph. The class’ pace is an abrupt change to my normal workday pace. It’s a bit like that moment when you step off a moving escalator. Last night we covered 10 pages of the book in about 3 hours. The slow pace has been difficult to adjust to.

I’m looking forward to the later phases of the class. Who knows, maybe some day I will be able to combine the private investigator training with my computer knowledge and turn that into an interesting career.

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