I saw the band Smash Mouth was trending early this morning. I’m not sure why that was. I only have one Smash Mouth story, and here it is.
In the fall 2001, when Susan was six months pregnant with Mason, I decided what I really needed to own was a Geo Tracker. My goal […]
While driving down the turnpike the other day, I heard a sound — 20 simultaneous “whaps.” It sounded like someone had thrown a cup full of ice at my windshield while I was driving 70 miles per hour, except there was nobody around — no bridges overhead, no people on the side of the […]
Shortly before entering the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino, California and opening fire, killing 14 people and injuring another 20, the shooters — Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik — discarded their cell phones laptop’s hard drive. While the hard drive has not been located, the cell phones turned up in a dumpster near […]
From the day Star Wars debuted in 1977 through the mid-1980s, it seemed like the Star Wars floodgates would never stop. It all started with only a few action figures, but by the time Return of the Jedi hit theaters in 1983, action figures and playsets were just one of hundreds of things Star […]
Erno Rubik invented his “magic cube” in 1974. It appeared on toy shelves in his native country as the “Hungarian Magic Cube” in 1977, and arrived in America three years later in 1980. Rubik’s Cubes flew off shelves in record numbers. It was named 1980’s “Toy of the Year,” and puzzle cubes (both Rubik’s brand […]
Twelve hours before my niece’s wedding was scheduled to begin, decorations still needed hanging, my laptop (the sole source of the evening’s music) started acting up, and the wedding cake had just fallen off the table, onto the floor.
Jessica, my oldest niece, was born in 1989. She was four when Susan and I […]
The family and I spent the night as close to camping as I like to get — inside a two bedroom, 1,000 square foot cabin.
The outside of the cabin is chocolate brown and looks like logs. Everything inside — the floors, walls, ceiling, shelves, cupboards, and kitchen table — are made of pine. […]
The day Mason was born, the doctor heard a slight “clicking” sound while listening to his heart with a stethoscope. The clicking sound turned out to be a mild heart murmur. Later, a specialist officially diagnosed Mason with a mild case of pulmonary valve stenosis, combined with a dilated pulmonary artery. I was scared when […]
“Your butt stinks, and you have wooden teeth.” -Aaron Burr to George Washington, during a 1792 presidential debate.
This past week, after being repeatedly called “short” and “tiny,” republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio insinuated that because fellow GOP candidate Donald Trump has small hands, he probably also has a small penis. In last night’s […]
The older I get the more it seems like every cold I catch is the worst cold I’ve ever had.
I started feeling like crap last Thursday, just run down and irritable. By Friday evening, I felt like I had “medicine head” (Susan’s term), except I wasn’t taking any. On Saturday, my dad came over […]