Due to some unscheduled building maintenance, my co-workers and I have been recently displaced. Last week I sat in four different rooms on two different floors. We’re settled now in a temporary location. Since it’s temporary, I only brought the bare essentials with me. A guy who sits near me brought … his fridge.
It’s a small dorm-sized fridge, and the minute I saw it I thought, “what could I put in there?” And the answer seemed obvious — a severed head. (A fake one, of course.) So last night after work the kids and I went to Party Galaxy, who has already begun preparing for Halloween. The greeter at the front of the store gave the kids some balloons and then asked if she could help us find anything and I said, “Yeah, I’m looking for a severed head,” and the lady said, “I think they’re on aisle 14.”
So the kids and I set out and we find the heads and they’re $25.99, which I decided was too much for a stupid joke — but near the severed heads were severed limbs and body parts, and it turns out you can get a foot for much less ($7.99). We head to the checkout lanes and the cashier asks us if we found everything okay and I hold up the foot and she laughs.
Yesterday morning I got to work early, and when my co-worker got in and opened up his fridge, he found this:
When he first saw it, he thought his ice tray had overflowed and that it was an oddly-shaped clump of ice. Remind me to never borrow a cup of ice from this guy.
The foot soon found its way back to my cube. You would be amazed (or not) at how many stupid foot jokes there are. “Need a hand? How about a foot?” “Check out my new ruler. It’s a foot long!” “My wife always said I had two left feet.”
Feel free to add your own.
That’s my lunch. Filet of sole.
I would tell a joke but knowing my social awkwardness, I’ll just end up putting my foot in my mouth.
Oh wait, I got one. How did you haul the foot from your home? Did you use a “toe” truck? That’s all I got in that vein.