OKC Roller Derby: Skates, Breast Cancer, and Boobies

The last time I wrote about an Oklahoma City Roller Derby bout was on March 20th, a couple of days after attending their St. Patrick’s Day event. I posted the pictures I took online, wrote up a brief summary of the night’s events, shared the post on Facebook, and that was that.

But the Internet is a funny thing, and while the family and I were away on vacation a couple of weeks ago, Brandi Garner (Charity Liaison for OCKRD) found my post and responded to it. Within a day or two several OKCRD skaters including Mya Oh Mya, Kitty VonKlobber, Suzy SINsation, and the Blonde Brawler had also responded. All of their comments essentially said the same things: “thank you for coming,” “the half-time break is not usually that long,” and “please come again.” I also had an e-mail in my inbox from the one and only Princess Mayhem, inviting us to come back. And when someone named Princess Mayhem sends you free tickets to a roller derby event, to prevent from being beaten up by a gang of roller derby broads, I believe it is in one’s best interest to attend said event — and so I did.

Shortly before leaving the house, I saw the following flyer on Facebook:

Also on Facebook I saw the following link to a newspaper article:

I had no idea at that time (a) what exactly those were, or (b) that in a few hours, I would own them.

Anyway, back to the roller derby.

Mason and I arrived fifteen minutes before the bout began and found a couple of seats. There are no bad seats at the Farmer’s Market for watching roller derby bouts, unless you are hoping to take pictures … which I was. At the last bout we attended in March the sun was already on its way down when the bout began. This time around it was still bright and sunny outside, which made taking pictures of the left hand side of the track (at least until the sun went down) almost impossible. And since the left hand side of the track was where the girls were skating toward me, and the right hand side of the track was where they were skating away from me, for the first half of the match the only clear pictures I could take were of the girls’ backsides. I’m really not a pervert. Blame the setting sun, not me.

As was the case during our previous visit, the bout started right on time. Unlike the last bout we attended in which the girls from Oklahoma battled a team from Texas, this past weekend it was Okies vs. Okies as the Tornado Alley Rollergirls faced off against the Lightning Broads.

One of my complaints about the previous event we attended was that, for “derby virgins” such as ourselves, the rules were difficult to follow. Friday night’s bout kicked off with a brief introduction to the rules. I think they may have done the same thing the last time too, but now, having sat through an entire game, everything made much more sense. Mason and I even found ourselves explaining things to some of the people around us. It’s not that complicated, once you’ve watched a couple of bouts.

Like last time, roller girls (and I assume their friends) had a bake sale and a very reasonably-priced bar. Items at the bake sale were a dollar each. A bottle of beer and a can of Coke combined was $5. At last week’s Oklahoma Video Game Expo, bottles of water were $3.50 at the event center, so I thought these prices were extremely affordable. Also this time there was a “waitress” (I guess you would say) who would roll to the bar, get your drinks, and then deliver them to where you were sitting. So not only did Mason and I get a couple of inexpensive drinks, but we got them delivered to us in the stands. That was a great addition on their part.

Soon the first half was over and attention shifted from the derby track to some life-size body casts on display over in front of the DJ booth.

Each of the casts had been created by (and most of them decorated by) one of ten roller girls in attendance. The busts were created for breast cancer awareness, and were being auctioned off during halftime. On the bottom right, you can plainly (plainly!) see the “pair” that I had also seen linked to in the newspaper article on Facebook.

After a few minutes in which people were allowed to check out the casts, one by one, the girls who had made them picked them up, posted with them a bit, and auctioned them off. I didn’t pay too close attention to the selling prices, but I don’t think any of them sold for less than a hundred dollars. I should have been paying more attention, but to be honest I couldn’t take my eyes off of the, uh, “Twins” there. So when they finally came up for auction, I decided I must own those twins. All in the name of breast cancer awareness, of course.

Photo courtesy of Jam Flasher J

The creator and owner of the “Twins” was “Rach-El Diablo,” “diablo” apparently being Spanish for “d-cup”. Several bids and at least one “how am I going to explain this to my wife” moments later, I proudly had my hands on Rach-El Diablo’s boobs. (The fake ones, of course.)

One thing you can’t tell in the photo is the baseball is signed by some/most/all (?) of the members of the Tornado Alley Rollergirls.

Once the auction was over, it was time for the second half of the bout. While Mason and I made our way through a round of drinks and cupcakes, the girls hip-checked one another into oblivionn, repeatedly knocking girls out of bounds and, in one case, into the base of the bleachers. We could feel the thud from where we were sitting, several rows up. While this roller derby league isn’t the over-the-top, schtick-filled circus of days past, these girls are out there doing it for real.

After a full hour of banging in to one another, the orange-clad Thunder Alley Rollergirls pulled out the victory over the blue-wearing Lightning Broads, 150-139. Because we had left early last time, we missed two things that happen at the end the game. The first of which is, both teams skate a lap around the track, high-fiving fans who come out of the stands.

The second part is, after that, the girls hang around the venue, posing for pictures, meeting people, and shaking the hands of fans. At this point I got to personally thank Princess Mayhem (on the left) for mailing me the tickets. Eliza JukesYou (right) swooped in for the photo as well.

And so, at least for now, the Twins have been relegated to the upstairs den, above the television. “My own leg lamp,” so to speak. I’m not sure how long they’ll stay up there or where they’ll eventually end up, but for now, that’s where they are.

–+–

One thing I wanted to address was a couple of the complaints I made about the previous bout we attended. At that bout, I said that the half-time break (even though it was a fundraising event) was too long, and that there wasn’t anything else during that time for our kids to do. At Friday night’s event, the half-time break was around 30 minutes long (completely appropriate, I thought) and still allowed the organization to raise a lot of money (I believe over a thousand dollars!) for charity. And, while the auction was going on, face painting and sign making tables were available to entertain the kids. I thought OKCRD did a much better job this time around. The break was much more enjoyable this time, and you could tell that the organization made some positive changes to the way things were handled. So, kudos to them for making a good event great!!

Thanks again to Princess Mayhem for the tickets, Rach-El Diablo for the “bust”, and all the roller girls for their hard work. We will see you at the July 21st bout at Farmer’s Market!

Link: OKCRD.com
Link: Photos from the bout