"Say your prayers little one, don't forget, my son, to include everyone." -Metallica/Enter Sandman

Sunday was our famlly’s first official visit to the Great State Fair of Oklahoma. While this year’s Fair commercials constantly remind us that this is Oklahoma’s 100th Birthday, I wouldn’t have known it simply by attending. I didn’t see a banner, sign, or even a birthday cake marking the event. But, I CAN tell you that this is the 100th anniversary of the Fair paying homeless people minimum wage to work there. Even before we reached the gate we met the hippie who charges you $5 to park, the young black kid who won’t get off his cell phone long enough to tell you where to park, the senile old lady who sells you tickets and ignores any questions you might ask, and the unemployeed biker dude who simply growls when you hand him your ticket at the gate. Stereotypes for the win!

We decided to hit the fair Sunday morning before the crowds arrived, and that part of our plan went well. Mason and Morgan are still young enough that we can trick them into believing the free stuff is fun. The kids had a good time looking at horses and watching the FFA students shave sheep. Then we walked through some of the buildings. The kids got some free trinkets and Susan and I enjoyed the free air conditioning.

Due to Susan’s lapband surgery I have lost my long time eating partner. While at the fair I had an Indian Taco, a deep-fried Snickers, and a jug of Root Beer. Susan didn’t have anything. The kids didn’t want anything. Fools. Before heading out I took Mason through part of the Midway. He still things all the games are on the up and up and doesn’t know why I would rather take him to Toys R Us and buy him something than let him waste money throwing darts at balloons.

Here’s a quick game we can play. Match these items with their correct Fair prices:

Items: One Adult Ticket to the Fair, Parking, Indian Taco, Pizza on a Stick, Jug of Root Beer, Deep Fried Twinkee, 20oz Coke

Prices: $3, $4, $5, $5, $7, $8, $8

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3 Responses to “Da Fairs”

  1. rivas says:

    Hmmm… I’m gonna guess Ticket = $8, Parking = $5, Indian Taco = $8, Pizza on a Stick = $7, Deep Fried Twinkie = $5, Jug of Root Beer = $4, and 20 oz Coke = $3.

    Am I close?

    By the way, I loved your description of the workers at the fair… I almost feel like I’ve been there this year now.

  2. Rob says:

    You got almost everything. The Indian Taco was actually $7 and the Pizza on a Stick was $8. You got everything else right.

  3. MOM says:

    Well, I had pretty much the same experience, except the workers moved around a bit. As far as food, $3 for a corn dog (and they get smaller each year), and then Jack and I decided we’d share stuff so we could sample more items. So first we shared an Indian Taco (75% for Jack, 25% for me because it’s not my favorite food.) Next was supposed to be my polish sausage sandwich, but guess what. Now we’re full and it’s time to go. Wahhh. Next year, I get to choose first!!