In sixth grade, the Yukon school district decided it would be better for all the elementary school nerds to mingle instead of doing whatever it was they were doing at their own schools. The third year in a row, my Gifted class moved. In fourth grade (while attending Myers), I attended Mrs. Leatherwood’s Gifted class there. In fifth grade I moved to Shedeck Elementary, as did Mrs. Leatherwood. I don’t know how they do it now (I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough), but back then Gifted consisted of two half-days during the week. I think at Shedeck we went to Gifted class Tuesday afternoons and Friday mornings, or something like that. The new plan for sixth grade was to take all the Gifted kids from all seven Yukon Elementary schools (Myers, Shedeck, Parkland, Skyview, Ranchwood, Surrey Hills and Central), bus them to Central Elementary one day a week (Wednesday), mix ’em all together and then divide them among four teachers.
Being pulled out of class twice a week was hard to explain to my fellow classmates. How does a ten-year-old explain “I go to a different class for smart kids” without getting made fun of or beat up? I don’t know if there even was a socially acceptable way to explain such things, but if there was one I never figured it out.
The teasing from classmates was nothing compared to the frigid reception we received from the other kids at Central Elementary. I would have gladly challenged any of those Central kids to a friendly debate or a “cut down” fight, but that’s not how conflicts are handled in sixth grade — they’re solved at the teatherball pole, the monkey bars, or the soccer field. Our little “nerd herd” found ourselves huddling together in fear on the playground each Wednesday (safety in numbers, yo). Frequently my friends and I volunteered to stay inside and clean up during recess to avoid getting clobbered. To be perfectly honest I don’t remember ever actually getting pummelled at Central by the un-friendlies, but the possibility was always there.
Anyway, back to our story at hand. Throughout these last few Shedeck stories I’ve established that we studied a wide array of subjects, something that continued at Central. During one nine-week period, we studied Clowns, and the art of Clowning. During this time we learned all about clowns. We learned about famous clowns like Emmett Kelly, we learned about the circus, we learned about performing, we learned about clown makeup … we learned it all. In fact, we even developed our own little clown personalities. I was “Happy”, a silent clown who smiled and juggled.
Now I don’t know who’s idea this was — certainly not a student’s — but I guess one of the teachers came up with the idea that we (our whole class) should perform — as clowns — to the kids in Central Elementary. This presentation was to take place during lunch, in the cafeteria.
I honestly cannot tell you how much I didn’t want to do this. We were a bunch of smart social outcasts being shipping to another school once a week. The last thing we wanted to do was dress up in clown regalia and perform in front of the kids that detested us while they ate. Who wouldn’t want to kick this kid’s ass?
(Me in 1984)
Also keep in mind, I was wearing this wig as well.
(Me in 2007)
Unfortunately in a tale that’s as old as time (or at least public schools), we (the students) did not get a vote. As part of our final grade we dressed up in our clown costumes, put on our makeup, and with our heads down low, begrudgingly drug our feet down to the cafeteria and performed our little clown routines. At first we gathered together but the teacher insisted we “spread out”, so we did. Soon each of us were on our own, performing our little routines as the kids who hated us howled with delight. Once it was decided we’d suffered enough humiliation for one day we were allowed to run-not-walk back to our room where we scrubbed our faces and hid our clown bags.
No one got their asses kicked on the playground that day. Even the Central kids felt sorry for us.
Tune in tomorrow for two final Shedeck stories!