You Can Kiss My Cheugy Ass

Last month, an article in the New York Times introduced a new word to the world: cheugy.

Before I talk about it, I want to ask you a question. Do you know the reason why people don’t wear white after labor day? Don’t look it up. I’ll tell you why here in a minute.

For now, back to “cheugy.” According to the article, the word (pronounced “CHEW-gee”, with a hard “G”) is actually ten years old. It was made up by a (then) thirteen-year-old girl, who used it at school where it spread among her friends. Over the past few years the word began to appear on social media. In March of this year it was used in a TikTok video that went viral, and two weeks ago an article discussing the word appeared in the New York Times… which brings us to here and now.

So what does cheugy actually mean? Well, it’s a little confusing. The simplest definition is that its a way to insult people following fashion trends that are no longer cool. If you’re wearing tennis shoes that were trendy three years ago, well, those shoes are cheugy, and so are you. The word can also refer to someone of the wrong age trying to be trendy. If you’re in your 20s and wearing skinny jeans, that’s cool. If you’re in your 40s and wearing skinny jeans, that’s cheugy.

(Wait, I just googled it — skinny jeans are now cheugy for everybody.)

Who decides what’s cheugy? Non-cheugy people, of course! After all, somebody has to be the self-appointed gatekeepers of coolness. If you are not fortunate enough to know a member of Gen-Z who can help you identify the cheugy things in your life, Google can help. Denim jackets, t-shirts with slogans on them, and flashy workout sneakers? All cheugy. Pumpkin lattes, chunky necklaces, and oversized shoulder bags? Also cheugy. Then again, that last article was written by ET Online, and if that’s where you’re getting your fashion tips from… you’re probably a cheug.

(Yeah. It’s a noun, too.)

Cheugy isn’t limited to clothing; it can also cover sayings and phrases. According to Indy100.com, all of the following phrases and things are officially cheugy: “GirlBoss”; “I did a thing”; “Fri-yay”; “Live, Laugh, Love”; Ugg boots; parting your hair to the side; Herbal Essence shampoo; marble; Starbucks merchandise; any wooden sign with a quote on it; anything purchased at Target.

On the shelves above my desk sit a pair of Beats headphones, a Pac-Man coffee mug, a stack of CD-Rs, sunglasses from Dollar Tree, and a Starbucks gift card. The Cheugy Police would have a field day in here. Funny thing is, the concept of people judging me for the things I like is not new to me.

I grew up in the 80s, an era where those who didn’t fit the mold had many names. At various times throughout my grade school career I was labeled a geek, a nerd, a dork, a dweeb, a weirdo, and every other label Anthony Michael Hall was given in every John Hughes film. I was a dork for wearing pink Converse shoes to school, a nerd for being in gifted and taking honors classes, a weirdo for actually enjoying school, and a geek for liking computers.

About five years ago, long after I thought we were past that, someone informed me that my white-on-white high tops were “dad” shoes, and they weren’t laughing when they told me. It was the first (but not the last) time I heard the word “dad” used as a slight meaning “out of touch.” The opposite of trendy skinny jeans are dad jeans. Hawaiian shirts are considered to be dad fashion, as is tucking in a t-shirt. Baseball caps can be found on Amazon by searching for “dad hats.” Each of these terms is typically preceded by a smirk and followed with a snort.

I guess now’s a good time to talk about that whole “wearing white after labor day” rule. It was created by rich snobby women in the 1800s. Women rich with “old” money needed a way to separate themselves from women becoming rich with “new” money. One way they separated themselves was to create arbitrary fashion rules and only share them within their group. Some of these rules included things like sleeve lengths, matching accessories, and other nonsense. One of their rules was to stop wearing white after Labor Day. There was no practical or logistical reason for the rule. It was just a way for some rich people to maintain social clout by excluding other rich people from their social circle. This rule was created in the 1880s and somehow still exists.

I wasted a lot of time and energy as a kid (and occasionally an adult) worrying about what other people thought about me. I worried about what people thought about my clothes, my hobbies, my writing, and plenty of other things. But the thing is, those things make me happy, and changing those things because of people’s opinions does not make me happy. It’s particularly difficult for people pleasers such as myself. For a long time I made decisions based on whether they would make other people happy rather than whether or not they would make me happy. It took me longer than a lot of other people to come around, and it’s still a work in progress. If someone rolls their eyes because I collect vintage lunchboxes or old toys, I can deal with it. When I see people doing it to kids or young people, it pisses me off. It reminds me of every kid in high school who ever laughed at me for trying to fit in. Even when I did, I didn’t.

If I could somehow get a message a a teenage me, I’d tell him to grow a thicker skin and start giving those self-appointed gatekeepers of coolness the middle finger. Who cares what anyone else thinks about what you like? Snobby kids are going to be snobby and you can’t change them, but you can change you. The next time someone makes a comment because you’re wearing white after Labor Day, or a pair of shoes you like wearing, or something you have in your home, look them right in the eye, take a sip of coffee from a mug that says “World’s Greatest Parent” on the side, and tell them to kiss your cheugy ass.