Over the past week, I’ve fallen on the ice twice (I’m okay), Susan threw her back out (she’s okay), and our pool has suffered a catastrophic failure (it’s not okay).

Last weekend, the winter storm that swept across the country made a stop at our home. I don’t know how much snow we actually got — some news reports said 8″ and some said 12″. All I know is, it was a lot of snow. Because of how the wind blows at the house, heavy snow means we can’t get out of our driveway without shoveling. And because we live on a private road, waiting for us at the end of the driveway is just more snow in the street. We didn’t leave the house until Sunday, and even then it was more to see if I “could” do while realizing at the same time it wasn’t something I “should” do. For the record, it was Big Rob’s Van that was the first to make it out of the neighborhood.

The real fun began when temperatures dropped down into the single digits for multiple days in a row which, despite leaving our pump running, began to freeze the water in our pool. It’s not a problem unless it gets thick enough to prevent water from moving through the system, but by Monday that was beginning to happen.

So, I grabbed a sledgehammer.

I began working my way around the pool and breaking up the ice with the flat end of the sledgehammer. The ice was so thick that breaking it required 5-7 hard hits. I had made my way over to the deep end of the pool and was hitting the ice when… well, it all happened so suddenly. The ice gave way and I dropped the sledgehammer which caused me to lose my balance. As I began to fall forward I realized I was about to fall into the deep end of a mostly frozen swimming pool with no one around. At the last minute I jumped to the side and avoided going into the pool, landing directly on the sidewalk instead. I couldn’t tell you the last time I fell so hard that I blew out the knee of a pair of jeans, but that’s what happened. With blood leaking from my knee and elbow, I retreated to the house for some first aid treatment.

It wasn’t until the next day that we noticed an even bigger problem. The water in our pool was draining.

When the pool freezes and the water stops circulating, that becomes a Defcon 1 event. Immediately we have to turn off the pump and drain the water from the pump and the filter. I was able to break the plug free on the filter and then Susan got down on her hands and knees in the snow to remove the plug. As stinky pool water drained from the system, Susan sheepishly said, “I can’t stand up.”

Susan spent most of Wednesday and Thursday essentially unable to walk. As someone who has experienced crippling back pain, it was all I could do to watch her suffer. The earliest opening at our doctor’s office was Friday. To get through Thursday we began digging through the medicine cabinet to mix and match any pills that might relieve her pain. When we went to bed Thursday night I literally said a prayer and to say if anyone up there is listening, please take this pain away from Susan’s back and give it to me.

In the middle of the night, Susan rolled over, something in her back popped, and everything was instantly fixed. Not sure if anyone up there was actually listening, but Friday morning my back was okay.

Friday afternoon I slipped on the ice in the driveway and fell again. Fortunately I fell directly into a pile of snow so this one didn’t produce more floob, but my already shore shoulder is… sorer…

We got the pool company and an insurance adjuster to come over Saturday afternoon. The only reassuring thing they said is “whatever happened has happened and won’t get worse.” We were told the problem was either with our heater, the underground pipes, the drain or the liner, which I believe is pool guy talk for “hand over a credit card and we’ll figure it out.”

Susan’s feeling better, I’m sore but doing okay, the the pool continues to drain (where the water is actually going, nobody seems to know).