I haven’t had much luck with dentists in my life. I didn’t visit the dentist often as a kid and had a couple o relatively unpleasant experiences as a young adult that I just decided to quit going. The last time I went to an actual dentist was, as we jokingly say, “in the 1900s.” This led to one of my wisdom teeth crumbling in 2009 which sent me to an oral surgeon to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. That’s when I decided I would take my chances, brushing and flossing the best I could, and pay the piper when he inevitably arrived.

Susan recently convinced me to visit her dentist for a cleaning, and somehow she talked me into it. She said cleanings aren’t a big deal, and if you visit the dentist more than once every 25 years, it’s probably not. For me, it was a three-hour ordeal. Not all of that time was spent in the chair. A lot of x-rays were taken, but eventually I was in a chair and someone’s hands we in my mouth and, like always, it was a fun time alternating between pain and feeling like I was drowning.

Because my gums were somewhat inflamed, the hygienist numbed my teeth with a series of injections — six per tooth (three in the front and three in the back). “These aren’t shots” I was resassured as a tiny plastic tip got shoved up between my teeth and gums. That was followed by at least 30 minutes of being worked over by a water pick followed by aggressive scraping by a metal hook. The dental hygienist assured me there was no plaque remaining and without looking, I believed her.

After checking all the x-rays and using AI (?) to predict problems, it was determined I have one cavity and one molar with cracks that will “eventually fail” that he would like to crown. The cavity is on my rear upper molar, directly facing the tooth the dentist says he would like to do the crown and fix the cavity at the same time “because it would be easier.” He said I can expect to spend two hours in the chair, something I will need to mentally prepare for. Cost to me (with insurance) will be a little over $1,000.

Oh, and the reason the one tooth has cracks and is failing is because… I got a filling in it. The dentist said over time fillings expand, which is what is causing the tooth to crack. One of the reasons I avoid the dentist is because everything always starts a domino effect, even when the first domino is because of something they did.

I did also bring up the possibility of getting Invisalign or a retainer to straighten some of my teeth. He said it wouldn’t work for me. As a kid a dentist probably would/should have stretched the pallet of my mouth to widen the jaw, but it didn’t happen then and can’t happen now. He said braces might make a difference and referred me to an oral surgeon. Making that call doesn’t seem likely.

For not going to the dentist for twenty-five years I’ll take having only one cavity as a win. Adulting sucks and eventually I will have to suck it up and have the crown done, which I am sure will cause more work down the road.