You Are Here.

You are here.

Where? (Squinting eyes …)

Even in today’s world of visual media and marketing, it’s rare that we actually get to see a visual depiction of “where you areâ€?. Earlier this week, I had the privilege. I work for a large aerospace company that employs approximately 135,000 people. Tuesday, a “big-wigâ€? from “somewhereâ€? came down to our tiny little Oklahoma branch to both congratulate us on what a wonderful job we’ve been doing for the company, and to meet us for the first time. I’ve always felt icky when it comes to meetings such as this — there’s that awkward moment I dread when you shake hands with a boss and realize that the people only two rungs above you on the corporate ladder have no idea that you even existed five minutes ago.

Anyway, on with the humor. During the dude’s presentation (can you call a guy in a three-piece suit “dudeâ€??), he begins throwing up the worst PowerPoint slides I have ever seen. The first two slides were filled with a gazillion words in tiny 10pt type. At one point the presenter himself had trouble making out words on the screen. Those of us who opted to sit in the back row never had a chance. But that wasn’t the funniest part.

The funniest part of the presentation came when the presenter showed us our company’s organizational chart. There were five separate boxes, each representing a different department. I had just begun to wonder which of the five boxes I fit in when he changed slides. He then explained that under one of those five boxes, there were over 20 departments. Aha! I must be in one of these 20 boxes, right? Wrong. The next page showed the departments under THOSE boxes. To make a long story short, under those boxes were another department that had two departments in it, one of which houses 30 contracts, one of which is ours. Unfortunately, the organizational chart didn’t go down far enough to show exactly where I work. How sad is that?

In other news … lesse, our washer (clothes, not dish) seems to have died. It fills with water but the motor seems deadish. I rarely get around to fixing the things I KNOW how to fix around our house; ain’t no way I’m tackling this on my own.

I think I’ve figured out the whole My Space thing. It’s like Pokemon, for grown-ups. “Find all your friends and collect them all!â€? I spent way too much time last night randomly punching in people’s names and searching for them. If nothing else, the whole site is a very interesting online social experiment.

Today we were informed that the CIO of the FAA will be dropping by next Wednesday for a tour of our server room. We were informed to “wear our Sunday best.â€? On Sundays I’m usually in my boxers until at least noon. While it’s a strange request, I’ll wear the cleanest pair I own; hopefully the white legs won’t scare him off.

Next week the three generations (Morgan, Susan and Susan’s mom Liz) will be going to Washington DC for a week, leaving Mason and myself alone in Bachelor City, USA. The Amazing Robbo predicts many Hot Pockets and Corn Dogs in the boy’s immediate future. At least one night I’d like to take him to Incredible Pizza, just because we haven’t gone yet. Last night I was trying to think of things my dad did with me when I was a kid and do those things with Mason. One thing I thought of was “building somethingâ€?, although I’m not sure what we could build (maybe we could hang some shelves or something).

Speaking of trips, the week of Memorial Day, Susan, Mason and Morgan are going on vacation to Jamaica!!! I, however, am not. Instead I’ll be hanging around the house. I am still planning on taking that week off, but I’m not sure what I’ll be doing. Road trip? Toga party? Susan will just have to wonder (evil laugh here). Seriously though, I don’t have any plans yet. I might go to Chicago, I might go to Texas, or I might just set out driving in some random direction — which, in a truck that costs $65 to fill up, could get expensive in a hurry.