Morgan and I had lunch at Taco Bell on Sunday. The mob that ordered before us consisted of one adult and six kids, ranging in age from one to around seven or eight. To say that the guy lost control of the kids implies that he ever had control in the first place. One kid in particular, a five or six-year-old little girl named Rosa, wanted nothing to do with dad. Instead, she wanted a gumball.
The gumball machine is located next to the front counter where customers order food. It was also directly next to where Morgan and I were sitting — maybe four feet away. “GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!” shouted the child as she slapped the machine with an open hand. The father, a member of the “ignore her and she’ll quit” camp, did nothing. But Rosa did not quit. Her open handed blows quickly turned to closed fists. Punch after punch, Rosa hammered away at the gumball machine.
“GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!”
Soon, the punches turned to kicks. Front kicks, side kicks, spinning heel kicks … Rosa delivered them all with pinpoint accuracy, mixing more punches and chops in with her assault. The banging was so loud that the employee at the cash register could not hear people ordering. The only break in Rosa’s attack came when she decided to try and push the machine over by first climbing and then rocking it. Fortunately, she was unsuccessful. Morgan watched in horror, her eyes bigger than I’ve ever seen them.
“GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
After several minutes of unrelenting onslaught, Rosa’s dad finally came to the gumball machine’s aid. With one arm he picked Rosa up around the waist and carried her back to the table. With one final strike left in her, Rosa ran from the table toward the gumball machine with full force, jumping and kicking the machine with both feet at the same time. As the child hit the floor, she began to scream. With all eyes on him, Rosa’s Dad gathered the gang together and took them all out to the car.
Then, with the kids out in the car, Dad returned to the restaurant, quietly finished his burrito, got a refill and left.
It would have been hilarious after all that kicking, punching and slapping – dad takes her to the car and only then does one gumball roll out.