If you were to take the hottest, most delicious slice of pizza you’ve ever had and combine it with the most tantalizing Mexican dish you ever tasted, the results would be… well, pretty far from Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza, which returns to restaurants next month after a two-year hiatus.
What is it about the disappearance of fast food items that makes us crave them? Back when the McRib was a regular item on the McDonald’s menu, the restaurant could barely give them away. In 1985 the pork(ish) sandwich vanished, not to be seen for another ten years, when it was brought back as a seasonal item. Today, people line up around the block each December to buy them. Absence truly does make the arteries grow fonder.
The rising cost of ingredients, followed by a decrease in sales, are the two most common reasons our favorite items fade away. McDonald’s cited the rising price of pork shortly for the McRib’s first long vacation. In 2020, Taco Bell removed all items containing potatoes from their menu for the same reason. For the record, Susan and I were once offered 400 pounds of potatoes for $20 while living in Washington state, minutes from the Idaho border.
As for the Mexican Pizza, Taco Bell claimed to have pulled the item from menus in 2020 due to the cost of its packaging. According to the company, the Mexican Pizza’s packaging “accounts for over 7 million pounds of paperboard material per year in the U.S.” (Somehow, Taco Bell remains unconcerned about the amount of napkins and toilet paper their customers use each year.) Remember those Styrofoam clamshells McDonald’s used to serve all their burgers in? Someone complained that they weren’t biodegradable, and now half of McDonald’s burgers come in cardboard containers and the other half come wrapped in paper. It’s not that hard. You know what else comes served in cardboard? Real pizzas. Figure it out, Bell.
Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza consists of two crispy flour shells with beans, beef, tomatoes, cheese, and pizza sauce. Except for pizza sauce, Taco Bell still serves all those things. Have you ever looked down Taco Bell’s make table while sitting at the drive-thru window waiting for your order? There’s like eight ingredients there. It would be like if they kept selling tacos but quit selling tostadas, which I just remembered they also did in 2020. Tostadas are quite literally flat tacos with red burrito sauce. Leave a Taco Bell taco out long enough and it will eventually become a tostada.
According to the company, Taco Bell decided to bring back the Mexican Pizza after receiving nearly 200,000 signatures in a Change.org petition. So, remember that. Taco Bell removed Mexican Pizzas from their menu to save the planet, and brought them back because 1/570th of Justin Bieber’s follows on Twitter signed an online petition.
Look, I get it — Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizzas are as authentic as Chinese Fortune Cookies. But have you ever tried eating a hot slice of pizza while driving? It’s not that easy. Starting next month for only $4.99, Mexican Pizzas are back.
Viva la Pizza, and Yo quiero Taco Bell!
In the movie “Demolition Man” Taco Bell is considered fine dining.